What happens when you take an
outdated franchise, add some repetitive gameplay, mix in some really annoying music and
tie it all up with some serviceable graphics? Well, pretty much what you'd expect.
Although we’ve seen this game a million times before on the Game Boy Color, these
guys chose to name their version of tedious monotony Woody Woodpecker. Everything about
this game feels so 15 years ago. Let's face it. Woody Woodpecker isn't exactly the hottest
commodity on the market. He ranks about a notch or two above Chilly Penguin. This game is
pretty much your standard side-scrolling platformer. There’s jumping, shooting and
pecking and not a whole lot else.
They took about as much time on
the story as anything else. As far as I can tell, the primary goal of the game is to find
Woody's remote control. Not exactly the highest of stakes. For those well versed in the
lore of the woodpecker, there are plenty of visits from familiar faces.
I
found the first level incredibly annoying. The music seared itself onto my brain in the
most excruciating of fashions. But to make matters worse, it was impossible to figure out
what I was supposed to do to complete the level. It was nothing more than in and out of
doors and up and down levels with regenerating foes. The logic required to figure it out
is somewhere this side of idiot savant--emphasis on idiot. I predict that a lot of people
will shelve the game before they even finish the first level. I kid you not; I completed
this game by accident. You’ll most likely feel that way about most of the game.
The
controls are sloppy at best. The game really falls apart when you try to make a
non-projectile based attack. It's virtually impossible to kick or peck an enemy without
taking on damage. I would have found this incredibly frustrating if I could have mustered
the energy to care. The only real high point of the game is the graphics. I appreciate the
level of detail and the use of color. I just would have appreciated it more on a better
game.
The
problem with reviewing games is that you can't put down the really tedious ones. All the
while you’re playing, you’re saying to yourself, "Life is just too
short," but you feel a sense of obligation to suffer through it for your readers,
knowing all the while that none of them will drop you a line saying, "Hey, thanks
man. I really appreciate you playing that game so that I don’t have to."
It’s a thankless existence. What makes it even more difficult to bear is knowing how
few people will actually even read this review because it is Woody Woodpecker. I guess I'd
better tie this review up before it becomes any more of an exercise in self-pity. This is
not the worst game I've ever played, and some very young children might actually enjoy it,
that is if they had any idea who the heck Woody Woodpecker was.
