You would think that the life of a video game reviewer is all fun and games. So
many would willingly trade a life or vital organ to spend their life playing and writing
about games. Let me tell you, it’s not all it’s cracked up to. Sure you get tons
of games for free, and you even get a lot of software before it’s even released. And,
yes, it drives the ladies wild when they find out you’ve got three video game
consoles at your disposal. But all this glamour comes at a price. That price is having to
play games like Motocross Mania.
Every now and again I
plop in a budget title hoping to be impressed (but knowing that it’s not likely to
happen). This is a port of a pc game that I’ve never played (or heard of for that
matter) and it’s not a game I’m likely to search out either. I have to wonder
what is going through someone’s head when they produce a game that is so far behind
the curve that it makes first generation games look good. Do they honestly believe that
quality doesn’t matter if a game is cheap enough?
I really don’t know where to begin with the game. I found
myself doing dishes and balancing the checkbook in an effort to avoid having to play it.
Simply put, it’s not very fun. Choppy doesn’t begin to describe the graphics,
and the controls are so insensitive that they hurt feelings on more than one occasion. The
trick options are incredibly limited and pretty unexciting to watch. Sure you can tune
your bike and compete in lots of tournaments, but if you can’t stand to play the
game, all the options in the world won’t make a difference.
Usually I enjoying tearing a game apart, but sometimes it just
feels cruel. There are lots of other areas of the game that I could criticize, but I feel
like I’d be beating a dead horse and I’d start feeling guilty for not heeding my
mother’s advice, "If you can’t say something nice…" The thing
that makes me most sad is that if you’re reading this article, I know you’re not
the kind of person to get sucked in by this game. You’re a savvy gamer who’s
looking for the best of the best. Titles like this are aimed squarely at the uniformed:
namely, the parents of gamers. No doubt, parents will be picking this up for their kids in
droves. "Little Johnny always did like dirt bike racing," they’ll say to
themselves. "And look, it’s only ten dollars. How could you go wrong?" For
those of you who get this on their birthday or in their stocking, you have my sympathies.
Usually, I can think of at least one demographic that might enjoy a particular game, but I
honestly cannot think of a single person who would enjoy this mess. It gets two stars
simply for the price.
