Life is probably too short for
you to waste your time reading this review; it is definitely too short for me to spend my
time writing. But my editor has a hard time accepting one star reviews without some sort
of justification, so here it goes.Punch the vampire, kick the vampire, stab the
vampire. Punch the vampire, kick the vampire, stab the vampire. One more time. If
youre looking for excitement, variety and suspense, look somewhere else.
How
long has it been that Buffy has been fighting off the undead? Five, six years? I imagine
that when youve been hunting vampires that long putting a stake through the heart of
a vampire is about as exciting as flipping burgers at Dairy Queen. Buffy the Vampire
Slayer for the Game Boy Color is a new kind of game. Rather than recreating a sense of
adventure, it recreates Buffys sense of tedium. Shes has got to be so bored by
now, and after playing this game I dont blame her.
I
kept playing it with the hopes that something would happen. I thought that by at least the
last level I might experience a little bit of a challenge. I was wrong. Playing this game
is like watching taped olympics. There is no suspense, no drama, and no question about who
is going to come out on top. Buffy is virtually impossible to kill unlike her immortal
foes.
People rarely develop games for the Game Boy. Most GBC games are an afterthought. It is
one more platform to capitalize on the cost of advertising. When youre taking out a
full page add for a Playstation or Dreamcast came, it doesnt cost you any more to
put "Also available for the Game Boy Color." And it obviously doesnt cost
a whole lot more to produce the actual game if this is any indication of the quality
control in the handheld department.
The
controls work fine, if a little monotonous. Buffy kicks, jumps, punches, and stakes (Is
that a verb?) with the best of them. You just need to get a vampire into a corner and
its all over for him or her. The graphics are also serviceable. The only option you
have to customize the game is to turn the sound on or off. There is only one difficulty
settingabsurdly easy.
I
should probably mention the story. Yet another group of vampires have descended on the
town of Sunnydale and Buffy must kick butt without asking any questions whatsoever. The
questions are for her sidekicks to ask. The vampires have an international flavor to them.
In a failed attempt to be innovative you deal with decomposing vampires, gentlemen
vampires, yeti-like vampires, and ninja vampires (trust me, the ninjas have no kung-fu).
Just listing out the vampires makes the game sound much more interesting than it is. The
comic book-like cutscenes flesh out what little plot there is. The game tries to convey
the campy humor of the show but youre too bored to even care. I dont follow
the show on a regular basis, but a lot of the plot seemed geared towards a pretty loyal
fan base. I cant imagine anyone but a loyal fan laying out hard earned money for
this title.
This
game should be called The Ennui of Vampire Slaying. I commend THQ if their goal was to
make us feel just like Buffy. I just dont know how many people would like to know
that vampire combat is not as exciting as the commercials make it out to be. Sometimes it
is easier to just live with our illusions.