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twoplayer comic: Warning! We Cause Damage!
posted by: Aaron Stanton
publisher: GamesFirst! Internet Magazine
date posted: 12:00 AM Sun Jun 12th, 2005
last revision: 12:02 PM Tue Aug 16th, 2005

Click here to read this week\'s twoplayer game comic.

I was struck by a strange curiosity the other day to discover why it is that Nintendo insists on putting epilepsy warnings on pretty much everything. A quick search of the Internet confirmed my suspicion that the warnings are a form of retroactive band-aid, the result of some previous trauma that left scars on the Nintendo psyche. In 1991, Nintendo became infamous around the world when a British child apparently had an epileptic fit while playing a Nintendo system, and choked to death on his own vomit. The term Nintendo Epilepsy? became a well-known term, referring to any epileptic seizure brought on by the TV. How Nintendo managed to take the blame for all TV-related seizures is beyond me, especially since I know of at least one study that showed watching TV is more likely to cause problems than video games are, but there you go.

Nintendo Epilepsy: A term spawned in the ?90s that refers to an epileptic seizure brought on by the TV.

Nintendo Thumb: A swelling in the thumb, much like carpel tunnel, that results from playing video games too much.

Teletubbies Epilepsy: A term that refers to the complete loss of movement that occurs while watching a show that simply does not make sense and zaps your brain. Also sometimes occurs while watching the blockbuster remake of Planet of the Apes. Yet, there are more lurking dangers in video games. Less well known, Nintendo was also sued in 1991 by a girl named Nicole LaBruzzy, who claimed that she couldn\'t carry a shopping bag because of a swollen thumb that she\'d gotten from mashing a video game controller too much, quickly termed Nintendo Thumb, or Nintenditis. So not only did Nintendo get to claim epilepsy, discovered in 1952, but they also got to claim carpel tunnel syndrome long before most of us knew what it was.

Hence, we now have Nintendo epilepsy warnings on pretty much anything with the Nintendo brand name. Could this be a new form of Nintendo graffiti? A new pop-culture thing, like All Your Base Are Belong To Us? I\'m considering starting a movement in which Nintendo fans around the world leave epilepsy warning stickers in various places as a form of branding. Leaving some Wal-Mart stall plastered with epilepsy warnings will not only assure that you\'re a part of the nerdy in-crowd, but will also allow you to sleep well at night knowing you\'ve done your part to stop the spread of rampant bathroom seizures.

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