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ups: Chess + Pink Parts = Titillation, budget price.
downs: Not much here except bare bones chess and bare-assed sex.

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LoveChess: Age of Egypt Review
game: LoveChess: Age of Egypt
two star
posted by: George Holomshek
publisher: Artmunk
developer: Artmunk
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date posted: 02:52 PM Tue Feb 14th, 2006
last revision: 03:01 PM Tue Feb 14th, 2006

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Click to read.The following game contains animated nudity and sexual content. It is not intended for minors and is also very NSFW (Not Safe For Work!).

Video game designers are always striving to come up with fresh, new ideas to entice gamers. One common method is to mix two well-known subjects in unique ways: trading cards and fantasy battle systems, swords and sorcery, rhythm action and platform gaming, dungeons and dragons, etc. But the folks over at Artmunk have taken things to a whole new level by combining the game of chess with the act of babymaking to come up with the Lovechess series. That\'s right; the chess pieces actually have sex right there on the chessboard. Their latest title, LoveChess: Age of Egypt, takes a classic game of chess and spices it up by giving the character-pieces goofy Egyptian costumes and having them engage in amusing sexual contortions.

Let\'s make one thing clear right off the bat: This is not a game with hardcore pornographic scenes. LoveChess is a chess game that shows sexual acts in a stylized, humorous, and light-hearted way. No pixilated money-shots for you. Think of it more along the lines of what would happen if Barbie could bend in new, interesting ways and Ken actually had a penis.

The basic idea is that any time one chess piece takes another the two will go all out in one of a variety of sex positions until they finish and the piece that was taken disappears. For those of you who are curious, some of the positions included involve old favorites such as 69, fellatio, cunnilingus, and missionary, as well as some more fun positions such as doggie style, squashing of the deck chair, reverse cowgirl, and wheelbarrow just to name a few. If you want more info on these positions, use this link. If you are in a hurry or just not in the mood, the sex scenes can be skipped with a simple tap of the space bar.

The interface is very straightforward and simple. Pieces are moved by simply clicking them and then clicking where you want them to go. Your main view is above the 3D chess board and you can switch camera modes between \"easy\" and \"free\", allowing you to control the camera like a bird and zoom in to get a better view of what\'s going on. In the lower-left corner of the screen is your \"Miniboard\". The miniboard is a simple, 2D representation of your game. I found this to be extremely helpful due to the fact that sometimes the main chessboard can get awfully cluttered and confusing. Other options include 10 difficulty settings, basic visual options such as idle animations, and the ability to pick between two different backgrounds, a temple and a tomb.

Multiplayer is also an option. Two players can choose to play either by taking turns using the same mouse and computer to move pieces, or you can create a direct connection between two computers. There is no infrastructure for the multiplayer, however, and the opponent must type in the IP address of the host computer to connect to them. While a little tedious, at least the option exists. After all, both love and chess are multiplayer games.

Unfortunately it doesn\'t take long to figure out that LoveChess is a very bare-bones experience. There are no levels or new character models to unlock, and watching 3D Egyptian models get their schwerve on starts to get old rather quickly. If you are a hardcore chess player and want to see 3D models in odd Egyptian clothing get it on, then this may be the game for you. If you\'re looking for a high quality chess game, check out one of the many other offerings, such as the recently-reviewed Fritz 9 or the free games available on places like Yahoo! Games.

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